Which superhero would be best at answering on-call alerts and real-time incidents?

Mar 25, 2016 by by the OpsGenie Team

  The OpsGenie team recently had a thorough and heated discussion (KAPOW!!) on who would be better with on-call alerts and incident management, Superman or Batman? Who would come out as winner when pitted against each other in a war of on-call alerts and response time? So, we thought we would hash it out here on our blog in a completely fictional format. We’ll try to examine each area of alerting and incident management to see who we think we would want on our on-call team.

Here’s some backstory on on-call alerts using an alerting and incident management solution: We strive to make the lives of dev&ops teams better through actionable alerts, on-call scheduling, and escalations. With customizable notification processes and a simple application system it will make time more efficient for dev and ops teams.

Now, how does that relate to these two well known heroes? Well, in most cases they need to be alerted to real-time incidents, right? What if there’s a crime and they both show up and only one is needed? Or, what if Batman is responding to all the alerts and Robin isn’t doing anything? With alerting and incident management tools, they usually have reports and logs to help keep track of that, and when Clark is out with Lois Lane, the alert can be escalated to Batman and then Robin, who can pick up the slack when necessary!

Who’s better?

Most alerting and incident management solutions are designed so that on-call dev&ops teams don’t have to be glued to their computers while on-call, our question now is: in a battle between Superman and Batman, who’s best at responding to on-call alerts and real-time incidents?

You cannot deny both heroes are capable in their own rights. Both are strong and intelligent; and both are always available and on-call at all times.

Superman: Superman has superhuman strength, speed, flight, heat vision, and is invulnerable. How does all this equate into answering alerts and incident management when being on-call? Well, Superman can answer calls extremely quick and can even fly to the area affected and resolve the issue in-person. He also never sleeps and is never tired (or so we presume) when answering calls in any timezone. So, he always handles calls and incidents with careful precision. He also can do the job of 10 people. He can monitor, ticket, and answer the ticket in seconds. He can easily hear when an alert goes off giving him the ability to answer at a moment’s notice. Now, Superman works at the Daily Planet a newspaper publication as a reporter, which we think could make him good at being on-call, but Lois seems to be the one to get the most urgent stories and the one they call in times of need. And she doesn’t seem to escalate a lot of those stories to Clark. So he probably will not work well in a devops team. He’s more of an individual which works for him, but our team needs a leader and a non-individual. Although OpsGenie has a free plan, we don’t think it would work for a team of 1. POW!!!

Batman: Batman is at peak human physical and mental condition, master at martial arts and hand to hand combat, and knows how to utilize high- tech equipment. So, how does Batman stand-up to being on-call? Well, Batman works only at night, so he has the ability to answer calls when needed in a moments notice. Because Batman has experience with technology, he can utilize most alerting tools and we believe he would adopt the DevOps ways and look to integrate most monitoring and ticketing solutions for the best response results. Batman also has a great escalation team with Robin, Alfred, and Commissioner Gordon. Batman is used to being alerted and answering the call via Batphone which we presume is now mobile and also alerted by the Bat Signal. Batman is very analytical, so we assume that he’d be great at deciphering logs and reports to help him and his team get better at their mean-time-to-respond/repair (MTTR). BAM!!

Both heroes have so much to offer and we would probably hire both in a second, but we at OpsGenie in our humble opinion believe that Batman would be better at answering on-call alerts and handling incidents when called upon. He seems ready made for these situations and would be a great on-call engineer or system admin. Although, Superman would be a good and cost effective engineer, we think he would have a longer training period and would easily get distracted with outside interferences. Now if both Batman and Superman were to work together collaboratively, we think an alerting and incident management tool would be perfect to help fit them both into a weekly schedule with an escalation policy which would produce nothing but peace and harmony throughout the world.

BOOM! Winner: Batman - Which one would you want to have on your team? #favoriteoncallhero

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